Hypocrisy 101
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Mt 7:3)
No matter your religious beliefs, I bet you can see the paradox and the irony in this statement. Whether it be a roommate, a spouse, or a co worker, do you find it comes quite easily to you to point out their faults? Your roommate showers at the WORST times....doesn’t she know you are getting up for boot camp at 5:30??? Nope, you forgot to tell her and just assumed she should overlook those awful smelling sneakers that you keep forgetting to put away because you are too rushed when you come home to shower, and too busy to....blah, blah, blah. And that bathroom counter. Your husband leaves out his razor, hair gel, and soap that you just can’t stand to look at every day. Yet your moisturizer, face wash, toner, eye makeup remover, ring stand, and used tampon wrapper hardly leave any space to see the counter top. Of course you have a “system” and have everything in its special place because you use it all every day. But couldn’t he just take 10 seconds to put away his things?!?! Okay office cubicle mate, you knew I was coming for you next. Were you not listening in the staff meeting when they repeated the rule that personal calls were only meant for your breaks? You don’t really care that your office mate’s mother-in-law has an in-grown toenail that needs to be removed! Her phone works in the bathroom, too! Yet you ask her to overlook your heinous smelling lunch concoctions so that you can eat and “work” at the same time, because you just have to leave 30 minutes early to make it to happy hour.
I think you are probably catching my drift at this point. It is so much easier to criticize, pick at, complain about, and focus on the supposed “faults” of others, despite our own glaring obnoxious habits, eccentricities, and downright nastiness. We all have it. The post from last week referenced the comparison game we hate-to-love-to play, yet we somehow don’t like it as much if it means acknowledging our faults. Similarly, I would like you to shift your focus back to yourself. When you are so irritated, annoyed, and tempted to lash out, ask yourself if you have a part. When your roommate/spouse/coworker seems incredibly insensitive, ask yourself if there is something you have done to make their home/workplace less comfortable or inviting. If you want to be really brave, ask for feedback on what kind of roommate, spouse, or suitemate you are! Ouch, did you just cringe? I don’t blame you, it’s a scary thing, but growth and self-reflection are worth it in the long run, but may sting a bit at the start!