What is a “Couple’s Intensive”?
One type of service I love to offer as a therapist is an ‘intensive’ for couples. This is similar to regular therapy, meaning we do similar skills and interventions, but it happens at a consolidated time, usually a 3-5 hour block, 2 or 3 days in a row.
What are the benefits?
Great results! Typically, couples who engage in an intensive, have faster growth and research shows that most couples tend to improve on their goals and see changes within this focused time. This is a great fit for a couple who might be in crisis, seeking fast results, or is simply eager to connect with this focused time for a ‘tune up’.
It can be equivalent to 4 months of traditional therapy. This means that you save months of your time and energy and get to experience healing and connection within your relationship faster!
It is helpful with scheduling. It might be easier for someone to block two half days or a full day off work rather than having one hour a week off for months in a row. The schedule also helps with less interruptions in the growth (sick days, conflicting appointments, vacations, etc).
It enhances focus! Usually, in a couple’s session, it can take about 10 minutes for a couple to settle in, disengage from life or work responsibilities, touch base on a previous conflict from the past week, or engage with their emotions or really get into their issues. Within an intensive, this ‘warm up’ time only happens once, maybe twice, saving most of the time to focus on the goals of the couple and the interventions of the therapist.
Does this sound like a good fit for you and your partner?
Maybe this is your time to reach out to a couple’s therapist and schedule your first intensive!
The Daily ‘Date’
In between work, children, and daily household tasks, sometimes connecting with your partner can fall to the wayside. We can just get stuck in survival mode, making sure homework is finished, bathtime is achieved without too much chaos, and the goal may simply be getting to bed at a decent time in order to do it all again the next day. However, in the midst of the busyness, we can lose connection with our partners. This is the person you are committed to and have decided to live this life alongside them, no matter how busy life can get. So how can you protect this connection when life feels extra full? Here are some tips to have a reliable connection time, a ‘daily date’, or what the famous psychologist Dr Gottom calls it, a ‘ritual of connection’.
By Kristin Rodriguez, LMFTA
In between work, children, and daily household tasks, sometimes connecting with your partner can fall to the wayside. We can just get stuck in survival mode, making sure homework is finished, bathtime is achieved without too much chaos, and the goal may simply be getting to bed at a decent time in order to do it all again the next day. However, in the midst of the busyness, we can lose connection with our partners. This is the person you are committed to and have decided to live this life alongside them, no matter how busy life can get. So how can you protect this connection when life feels extra full? Here are some tips to have a reliable connection time, a ‘daily date’, or what the famous psychologist Dr Gottom calls it, a ‘ritual of connection’.
A meal around the dinner table - You both have to eat, why not guard a time where it can happen together!
Tea time - Pick a time where kids can be asleep or preoccupied and work is put away and you two can have a reliable time where you sit together, sip something relaxing, and connect after a long day.
Walk the dog - A simple daily task or chore, but one that can be done alongside one another and made restful and purposeful.
Exercise - Be active and enjoy growing healthier physically and relationally at the same time.
Hug and kiss - Allow your partner to know that when you leave or return that you have a special way of greeting them.
Show appreciation - Show gratefulness when your partner cleans up the kitchen, drops off the kids, or serves you somehow in the midst of the chaos. Create patterns of thankful comments or notes so your partner can feel appreciated by you.
Reach out during the day - A simple text or phone call can go a long way to remind your partner that you are thinking of them or desiring connection even when life is busy.
Make this time your own! It can vary on how many minutes you do or what activity, but the point is that you and your partner can simply look forward to a guarded and guaranteed time where you are simply with each other and the rest of the world can wait.