What is Therapy Anyway?
By Amy Rauch, PsyD
When people find out that I am a therapist, I get some awesome questions and comments. One of my "favorites" is..."so are you reading my mind right now?" Or they tell me about their crazy mother/ brother /sister / friend, and I then wish I had changed the subject prior to answering their question about what I do for a living!
I have had enough people genuinely ask me what therapy is to think that some explanation might be helpful. I would imagine that images of the client lying on their back on a couch and an elderly, serious male therapist with glasses talking gently with the client about long repressed memories comes to mind. We can thank Sigmund Freud for that one. Ah yes, that brilliant, cocaine-addicted mind that taught us that everything we do is motivated by sex and aggression. Or, the ever classic, “How does that make you feel?” question coming after each statement that the client makes. Or perhaps you are more “informed” about modern therapy after watching the movie, “50/50,” and think that therapists could be potential dates that show up at your house for pizza when you are having an off day? Ay-yay-yay, that one killed me.
I attended a conference recently with psychotherapy / psychological and psychiatric experts from all across the world....it was quite an experience to be in the midst of those that had crafted the theories that I had been studying for the last 13 years. These people had such incredible minds and expertise and I sat next to therapists from Australia, Europe, Canada, and South America, to name a few...all sharing the common goal of becoming better at our respective profession and better learning how to help others. And one surprising thing that I took away is that we all define "therapy" differently. One thought leader interviewed noteworthy psychologists around the world and there was very little consensus. As such, you likely already guessed that I will not be attempting to define therapy explicitly, rather I will attempt to clarify what therapy is NOT by addressing myths about today's therapy.
Myth 1: The client is at the therapist's mercy.
There has been a huge shift in this area, both in medicine and in mental health...a shift from teacher / student, guru / naive, expert / novice to more of a collaborative relationship. It's about time we figured out that just merely telling adults what to do does not work! If type 2 diabetic patients took their medications as prescribed, meaning along with diet and exercise!, how many borderline diabetic patients could get back into a normal A1C range?! If every overweight /obese patient who was told to lose weight actually did, then over 2/3 of Americans wouldn't be overweight! Simply telling independent adults what to do is ineffective....glad most of us finally figured that out!!
Clearly you still pay therapists / psychologists and physicians because they are knowledgeable in their respective areas and expertise and have something to offer, but the shift has been away from a "one size fits all" approach. Effective therapy sometimes takes a problem solving approach to figure out a solution that gets them closer to their goal. Not all problems stem back to our repressed need for affirmation and the lack of warmth in our childhood...sometimes it can take the form of a nudge / push / lift / encouragement from a neutral source to get you where you need to go.